Horse Play!

My son is such a classy character. Today he picked up the girl's hobby horse, put it between his legs, and said in his 'strong man' voice, "I have a horse penis!!" -- wow, I guess we need to have another talk about when it's appropriate to talk about our private parts.

...and another tooth comes out

The big girl lost a tooth in the middle of the night last night. Thank heaven she found it (and didn't swallow it). She showed her 2 year old sister the tooth and the place where it had been this morning. The toddler's response? "PUT. IT. BACK!!!!"

Brothers and butterflies...

Today my son chased a butterfly around the yard today, and was very disappointed when it got away. He walked up to me with his pouty-lip, and said, "That butterfly got away. It was going to be for my sister." Those kids push each other's buttons and fight like cats and dogs, but right there is proof that there is a lot of love underneath.

@ the shoe store

The girl has 2 weeks left of school.  She outgrew her uniform shoes.  I don't want to invest $50 in good shoes she will outgrow or wear out playing dress-up over the summer.  So I scoped out the local payless before picking her up from school.  I put the acceptable shoes in her size all in a row (with the clerk's permission) with the least expensive ones in the middle.  As soon as we walked into the store, I told her she couldn't have those shoes.  I didn't even let her try them on until she'd tried on all of the other acceptable ones, and found them wanting.  A pair of glitter shoes had caught her eye.  I said, "NO, but I GUESS you can try on the other ones I said you couldn't have."  She was instantly in love with them and wanted no other shoes in the store.

Sometimes I think I may have a handle on this parenthood stuff, then reality comes along and knocks me on my bottom.

Mr. Coffee

I drink coffee.  I like drinking coffee.  It makes me feel somewhat human and makes me a nicer person.  This is why, although he hates the smell of it, my husband even procures coffee for me.

My 4-year-old son is hyper.  He is making noise, running, or climbing, constantly, sometimes all at the same time.  Yesterday, he asked for a little bit of my coffee.  I figured, "Oh, what the heck, he's going to preschool soon anyway."  He consumed it quickly and happily, and a few minutes later, he kind of calmed down a bit.  We actually got to the school a few minutes early because I anticipate a battle every day, and there wasn't one.

This morning, he asked for a CUP of coffee of his own.  So I said, OK.  I made him his own cup of coffee.  He was an unusually compliant, sweet boy almost all day (by about 6:30, he was crashing).

As he was getting ready for bed, I told him I really liked how well he behaved all day.  He said, "Was I good all day, because I listened, and was a much nicer boy?"  I said "Yeah."  And he said, "You're much nicer when you drink coffee too."

Potty Training update...

After less than a week, we were brave enough to go out without diapers.  She "gets" it, we've had no preventable accidents (meaning, when people hog the bathroom, sometimes babies can't hold it) in almost a week.  Now her favorite game is to say, "Mommy, I want potty" and watch me rush her in there, only to have her grunt a little and say, "All done," then repeat the process two minutes later.  

Definition of Irony:

The man and I went to a parenting seminar the night before last.  Yesterday my children were the worst behaved they have ever been in their entire lives.  We weren't even out, so it's not like I just expected them to be perfect.  I wonder if they were trying to help us use our new skills?

adventures in potty training

Is there a person on the planet who enjoys the potty training process?  I don't think so.  It makes me wonder, how did we become a toilet-trained society?

This morning I felt sort of sado-masochistic.  The toddler had been giving me attitude about diapering her, so I decided to work on potty training (she turns two in a little over a month).  She sat on her potty seat, and yanked half of the toilet paper off the roll.  I gently explained to her that we don't take that much, and we don't take any at all unless we actually go.  I got the squishy face and an "All done" from her.  **nothing**

We went into the other room where her big girl and dress were waiting.   But we didn't make it.  She had an accident before we got that far.  Back to the bathroom with screams and kicking from the toddler.  I tried to have her sit there while I sang the alphabet.  She doesn't like the ABC's.  I started to wonder if I was really up to this today.  I hadn't even had coffee yet!  I remembered that I was wearing MY big girl panties, and sucked it up. 

She liked helping clean up her puddle.  I put her in a light dress and her very first pair of big girl panties.  We went into the kitchen and I started making a snack.  I was just turning to hand her the apple slices when I heard her gasp and saw her look down. I rushed her to the bathroom.  Her dress got soaked in the process.  You would think I was ripping her fingernails off one by one to hear her scream when I removed the wet clothes.  As I rinsed the dress and panties, I sang "Itsy Bitsy Spider."  She liked that more.  She also liked pulling the rest of the paper off the roll.  (re-read paragraph 1 for more details).

This time, I set the kitchen timer, explained that she needed to go sit and try to use the potty when it went off.  Then I let her press the button.  I put a panties #2 on her, we tried 3 more times, with no results, but at least she stayed dry until nap time, at which point we were both happy to have her back in a diaper to go to sleep.

Heat + me don't mix

I admit it, I'm pretty spoiled.  I'm used to central heat in the winter, and central A/C in the summer.  Window air units are about as close to roughing it as I ever want to get.  So in April, when the weather is as moody as me (50F and clear one day, 90F and rainy the next), when people want to have the windows open, I try to keep my mouth shut, but I'm melting on the inside.  I'm crankier than usual, I have a hard time thinking, sleeping, functioning in general.

So, if I seem a little off, or nasty, wait until it's hot enough to run the A/C.  Then I will be better.

Music and Kids

I'm sure my mom said the same thing about me when I was a kid, but I think I need to musically educate my kids.

On the way home from picking the kids up at school the other day, The Beatles - Let It Be was on the radio.   The girl asked me to change it to "her" music. Exasperated, I informed her that The Beatles were one of the BEST bands of all time. She said, very matter of factly, "No Mommy; Taylor Swift is the best musician ever!"

The battle...

Don't you hate it when you have that morning argument with yourself about whether to get up now or in five more minutes?  I mean, I really feel crazy sometimes, playing both the role of the whiney tired kids who stayed up too late AND that of the disciplinarian: "If you don't get up RIGHT NOW, you will not have time to do everything; that means you will be LATE!"  When that doesn't work, I threaten myself with no coffee.  THAT gets me moving.

Privacy in the bathroom?

I've had an issue with the boy about privacy.  He doesn't "get it."  I have repeatedly told him that I don't want to see his boy-parts and that he shouldn't look and my girl-parts.  So the other day, the kids were outside playing and I neglected to think of locking the door when I went to use the restroom.  No sooner did I sit down than he came barging in:  "Mommy!  I need you to tie my shoe!  Don't worry, I'm not looking at you; see?  My eyes are closed."  He pointed to his tightly closed eyes as he stumbled into the bathroom with one shoe untied.

At least he got the not looking part.

hiatus? what hiatus?

Shamefully, it's been almost 2 months since my last post.  I've been busy and lazy.  I've been keeping the house cleaner, and not sitting in front of my computer for nearly as many hours of the day.  And I made a friend!  We actually have play-dates and talk and stuff!  Plus, I've had a nasty, yucky cold.  Since I only have 3 followers, I'm sure no one has actually missed it.

attack of the strawberry goo

There is an awkward moment when, as you are drifting off to sleep, the memory of your child mentioning that she bought ice cream at school, didn't finish it, and put the leftover in her "insulated" lunchbag (which is still in her backpack), hits you like a ton of bricks and jolts you into consciousness.  I'm so grateful that the puddle of strawberry goo did not damage anything, just created some inconvenience.  If the lunch bag and backpack are not dry by morning, she will just have to brown-bag it and use her busted-up kindergarten bag (I know, I'm so abusive.  I figured writing "ha-ha!  NERD!"on a plastic grocery bag would going a little too far).

The truth is, I feel like I must be growing as a parent.  I'm not mad.  I'm actually slightly amused.  No real harm was done, and I'm sure it won't happen again.


It reminds me much of a line from my favorite episode of...

"How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back"

 

Morgan Proctor: "Why is there yogurt in this hat?"

Fry: "I can explain. See it used to be milk, and... well, time makes fools of us all!"

Another hole in her head, or at least, one in each ear

For months, the 6 year old has been going back and forth about getting ehr ears pierced.  She wants it, but she's afraid of the pain.  I've been through labor three times.  Yes, I had drugs, but in the grand scheme of things, one contraction is much more painful and lasts a lot longer.  I didn't have a lot of sympathy for the fear of pain.

Finally, she said she was ready.  The whole family loaded up in the car, went to the mall, AND... she chickened out at the last minute.  So I did what any good mother would do, I got her little sister's ears pierced instead.  She barely fussed and we went out to lunch.  The 6 year old got up her courage again after lunch, so it was just her and me, Daddy took the younger siblings to the indoor playground.  We got the first ear pierced and she freaked out, sceamed, changed her mind and wouldn't let anyone near her other ear.

We left without getting her other ear done.  I felt like a failure.  I should have known that she would be like this.  I sould have gone to a place where they did both at once.  Ah the mom-guilt!  and I was irrationaly angry at the whole situation.  The man was a much better person about it than I was.  He talked with her, took her back, and got it done.  I had to stay out of the store and walk off the irritation.  He is quite amazing to me.  I am so glad he did it, but I'm a little jealous that he was able to succeed where I failed.

Yesterday, the toddler lost the back of one of her earring and it fell out during naptime.  I found the earring, but the hole was closed and now I have to have it re-done.  Another mom-fail.

So, to all of you thinking about getting your kids' ears done:  Either get them done before they know where their ears are, or wait until they are old enough to handle some pain.  Also, make sure you go somewhere that has 2 piercers.